Band-aids for boo-boos

I referred, in a recent blog about about “homosexuality” (a disputed 19th century coinage), to the dubiousness of “purging sick people from the hospital” — i.e., outing closeted or discreet “LGBT” (a disputed 20th century coinage) people in the Church.

Social Justice Warriors would no doubt object to that phrasing. “There’s nothing sick about being LGBTetc!” I can almost hear.

Tough luck. The American Psychiatric Association doesn’t define Christian doctrine or moral standards, and it deals only with treatment of a narrow slice of “psyche” while the real Church treats the whole thing (drawing on psychiatry as an adjunct at times).

So this blog unapologetically is about the implications of treating the whole psyche of those whose distinctive sins are (homo)sexual.

There’s been a burst of news stories on reparative therapy and various purported “gay cures” in the past few weeks, or so it seems to me. My position on those “treatment modalities” remains deeply skeptical, which is in accord with politically correct opinion on the topic.

I’ve been particularly adamant about supposed gay cures that turn people fully “functional,” never-a-flashback-fantasy heterosexuals. People who suggest that this is desirable and possible strike me not so much as factually mistaken as deeply deluded about the place of sex in a well-formed Christian life (“Christian” because the proponents of gay-to-straight conversion seem to me to be mostly Evangelicalish Protestants — the sorts of folks that pray not to die before they have sex and think you’re imputing some kind of perversion to the Theotokos when you add “ever-virgin”).

Here endeth the sucking up to the Zeitgeistst. Now the heresies begin.

I’ve never wavered in my opinion that same-sex attraction is a spiritual affliction (one of countless afflictions, most having nothing to do with sex) and that acting on it is sin (missing God’s mark). But I’ve felt no competency to elaborate on that until a recent mini-epiphany. I think I now have something worth saying, if only for discussion:

  1. I believe the testimony of most conscientious same-sex attracted Christians that multiple, varying attempts at reversing their orientation, or even of reducing attraction to the same sex, have consistently failed.
  2. I nevertheless believe that the whole soul can be healed, and that this is the work of Christ’s Church, not of psychiatry. (“Secular” psychiatry can be a part of it, however.)
  3. I believe that a near-complete healing of the soul will eliminate same-sex temptation.
  4. I doubt that a near-complete healing of the soul would restore opposite-sex attraction, or even that doing so would be a desirable goal. (This is not because I’m anti-sex. It’s because I’m anti-idol.)
  5. Souls that have been almost completely healed become acutely aware of their residual illness and would never brag “Well, at least I’m not gay any more! I got that one licked!” (I could have stopped at “Souls that have been almost completely healed would never brag.”)
  6. The preceding observation is by itself a sufficient reason to doubt the cure of anyone who trumpets his or her personal cure from same-sex attraction.
  7. Priests and Spiritual Parents who produce Saints don’t brag about their accomplishments.
  8. The preceding observation is by itself a sufficient reason to doubt the boasts of reparative therapists.
  9. If someone comes to Church or Monastery minded to cure only his or her same-sex attraction, I suspect that a perceptive priest or Spiritual Parent would say something along the lines of “We don’t know how to cure same-sex attraction as a discrete phenomenon. If we did know how, we’d be uninterested because we don’t do custom-tailored partial soul-cures, numbing and restoring self-esteem to a hell-bound soul (i.e., one that rejects full healing). It’s all or nothing here.”
  10. The preceding speculation is half the reason I’m skeptical of “gay cures.” The other half is that they are undertaken mostly or entirely by people who are not within what I believe to be Christ’s Church, and who have no idea what a complete soul-cure might be.

If I could put my mini-epiphany into 15 words or less, it would be something like “the Church has something much better than band-aids for sexual boo-boos.”

I heard a monk say recently that God has three answers to prayer: “yes,” “not yet,” and “I have something better for you” (yeah: I was expecting “no” as well). When I imagine the spiritual cure of same-sex attraction, I always picture someone going to a monastery, praying and laboring for decades, and becoming saintly in every way (including humility) — a combination of “I have something better for you” and “not yet.”

There are no before and after photos on the GayNoMore website. They don’t take the show on the road, charging admission like side-show freaks. The only Coming Out Ball for these newly-minted saints is the Last Judgment.

This view, I hope you can see, is incommensurable with reparative therapies as relatively quick and focused sexual fixes. It therefore seemed almost certain  to be misunderstood as bait-and-switch pandering had I said that the Church probably could cure same-sex attraction — as if that, instead of something better, were the focus.

Why should anyone be denied a chance for holistic healing? That’s why I object to purging sick people from the hospital just because their sickness is sexual, or homosexual, even though LGBT is uniquely scary to the Church at this historic juncture as it so threatens our ability to function unimpeded as the Church.

For me personally, this means that if someone at Church looks stereotypically gay or lesbian, I assume they’re taking the cure and that the current status of their treatment is none of my business — just as the current status of my treatment for different besetting symptoms isn’t their business. This isn’t speculation; this is Sunday-by-Sunday reality.

I’m not sure why they might feel a need to be publicly open and transparent about the sexual particulars of their sickness (versus open with a select few for purposes of support); I feel no need to be publicly open and transparent about the temptations I’m not going to name here.

Finally, since the complete spiritual healing I believe possible is a very long process, I assume that between sexual awakening and any complete spiritual healing, there’s going to be a lot of struggle, and presumably lapses, just as is the common experience of mankind with every other sin under the sun. Lapses are regrettable, but they’re nothing for others to get up in arms about.

Any more mature or knowledgeable Orthodox want to set me straight on any or all of this?

UPDATE: I noticed excessive dismissiveness in my third paragraph and revised it to  give a nod to the legitimate use of psychiatry — which I already had done in point 2. I did so because I point back to this blog periodically as my position on therapy for unwanted sexual attractions.

UPDATE 2: August 8, 2018, I posted a “Course Correction” on cognate topics.

* * * * *

“In learning as in traveling and, of course, in lovemaking, all the charm lies in not coming too quickly to the point, but in meandering around for a while.” (Eva Brann)

Some succinct standing advice on recurring themes.

Sunday after Nativity

  1. Why this distinctive?
  2. Christmas in the Middle East
  3. “Protocol”
  4. Vietnamese Orthodox
  5. The Xcarnation of Xianity
  6. Simply delusional
  7. Business ethics and ficuciary duties
  8. Davecat’s 15 minutes of creepy fame

Continue reading “Sunday after Nativity”

Wednesday, 12/16/15

Reason magazine, a libertarian voice, has two outstanding articles I’ve just come across.

The first (H/T Rod Dreher) covers an Atlantic magazine sponsored LGBT confab where the crazy grievance-mongers seemed to outnumber, or at least to feel free to mau-mau, their sanely-wrong co-conferees:

[Gay Libertarian David] Boaz had been discussing “Identity in the Workplace” with EEOC Commissioner [Chai] Feldblum …Both touched on the historic alliance between libertarians and the LGBT community when it comes to political activism. But with this community’s main focus shifting from repealing discriminatory laws—like those that prohibited sodomy, same-sex marriage, or ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ in the military—to enacting discriminatory laws, the area of common ground seems to be shrinking.

Scott Shackford pondered this “libertarian-gay divorce” in Reason’s November 2015 issue. “Now that government discrimination is largely tamed, gay activists are going after private behavior, using the government as a bludgeon,” wrote Shackford. “After a long alliance with libertarians, the two camps could be settling into a new series of conflicts.”

And it was impossible not to notice a contradictory impulse in so many of those gathered. At the same time as people praised the non-binary “gender spectrum,” they reinforced old tropes about masculinity and femininity, and the centrality of biology to both. One speaker said he knew his daughter was trans from a young age because Nicole—assigned male at birth, like her twin brother—liked to dress in pink and avoided boy toys. Another speaker described a man as being “in touch with his feminine side” because “he cries a lot.” (Nothing regressive and gender-stereotypical to see here!)

(LGBT Rights vs. Religious Freedom Looms Large at #AtlanticLGBT Summit: Welcome to the minefield that is discussing sexuality and gender issues circa 2015) Who will be the brave boy, girl or hermaphrodite to say out loud that the trans movement has no clothes (and that the LGBT clothes are getting pretty threadbare)?

The second, A Libertarian-Gay Divorce?, is even more timely as the LGBT-Industrial complex prepares to bludgeon Indiana again, this time with the GOP leadership in cahoots (to be fair, perhaps reluctantly):

[T]he United States has seen the abolition of sodomy laws, the end of officially sanctioned government discrimination against gay employees, and now—with the Obergefell v. Hodges decision in June—the end of government non-recognition of same-sex marriage.

So: Is that it, then? Is the gay movement ready to declare victory and go home?

Don’t bet on it. Now that government discrimination is largely tamed, gay activists are going after private behavior, using the government as a bludgeon. After a long alliance with libertarians, the two camps could be settling into a new series of conflicts.

Libertarians and gay activists were aligned in the pursuit of ending government mistreatment, but libertarians draw a bright line between government behavior and private behavior, arguing that the removal of state force is the essential precondition for private tolerance. Many gay activists believe that government power is a critical tool for eliminating private misdeeds. What many activists see as righteous justice, libertarians see as inappropriate, heavy-handed coercion.

[T]he workplace [antidiscrimination] push is largely based on the theoretical possibility—and a much earlier history—of discrimination: The fear is that unless a law explicitly prohibits an unwanted thing from happening, it will happen. Yet there’s been a huge culture shift these past two decades in support of letting gay people live their lives as they choose. Big corporations with products to sell celebrated gay pride in June, openly marketing themselves to gay customers and their allies. So where is the evidence that anti-gay employment discrimination in 2015 is a widespread phenomenon requiring urgent government intervention?

In general, libertarians and gay leaders have been united against anti-gay discrimination by government employers, such as the military. As the government answers to (and takes tax dollars from) all citizens, including the gay ones, the government should logically and ethically treat people the same regardless of sexual orientation.

But in the private sector, there should be something more than an ever-shrinking number of unpopular hiring decisions before asking Leviathan to step in.

The freedom to choose with whom to associate is a fundamental human right. The ability to engage freely in commerce is another one. As such, libertarians have always defended the ability of religious businesses and individuals to say “no thanks” to potential customers.

This is not just about faith. Religion happens to be the framework for this debate because the people who want to discriminate against gay customers are doing so while citing their religious beliefs. But any regulation that inhibits individuals’ right to choose with whom they trade or do business needs to be treated as suspect. To justify restrictions on this freedom, the government has to prove that inaction would produce a significant amount of harm.

That’s obviously not the case when it comes to the provision of marketplace goods. Nobody has presented a credible argument that gay couples are unable to buy wedding cakes or hire photographers. There is no actual “harm”—at worst, just inconvenience and insult.

Apart from same-sex marriage, which libertarians tended to support but which I oppose for reasons I’ll not reprise here, my position is very close to this kind of libertarianism:

  1. Governmental discrimination needs strong justification, rarely present when the basis for discrimination is what we’re come to refer to as “sexual orientation.”
  2. Interfering with the decisions of private businesses about who to serve needs strong justification, which appears to be lacking, when the basis for discrimination is what we’re come to refer to as “sexual orientation.”

* * * * *

“In learning as in traveling and, of course, in lovemaking, all the charm lies in not coming too quickly to the point, but in meandering around for a while.” (Eva Brann)

Some succinct standing advice on recurring themes.