An Old Man’s Prayer

It’s hard to know sometimes whether I’ve forsaken my sins or some of them have forsaken me. That’s using sin in the popular Western sense, not the etymological sense., for I surely do still miss the mark. Only now I miss it in subtler, and maybe spiritually deadlier, ways.

The author of this psalm, like me, was no longer a youth, and like me, his shortcomings had changed:

Thy grace endured the sins of my youth, which were great in number. May it endure also my indiscretion, heedlessness and carelessness.

St. Ephraim the Syrian, A Spiritual Psalter, Psalm 59 (“Because of my tears, convert me.”)