Section 1: A person who uses the term “oftentimes” commits redundant assault on the mother tongue, a Class A Misdemeanor.
Section 2: A person who uses the term “oftentimes” in print or electronic news reports commits aggravated redundant assault on the mother tongue, a Class D Felony.
Section 3: It is an affirmative defense to a charge under this Chapter that the defendant is so clueless that he or she customarily uses cognate expressions like “oftenspace,” “oftencolor,” “oftenlength,” “oftenheight,” “oftensmell” or other similar abuses of the mother tongue.
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“The remarks made in this essay do not represent scholarly research. They are intended as topical stimulations for conversation among intelligent and informed people.” (Gerhart Niemeyer)
Tipsy Teetotaler ن 